4 Simple Rules for Ending a Bad Relationship

Do you need some help ending a bad relationship? If you know you've landed a frog instead of a prince, it's time to get out. Read our simple cautionary tale and keep these simple rules in mind.

What's the Alternative to Ending a Bad Relationship?

Ever known a woman who got married instead of ending a bad relationship? We do! In fact, we know several real live women who are married to the bad relationships they didn't end. Obviously these gals didn't follow our advice because they wound up standing in front of a minister and pledging their troth instead of whooping it up in Pete�s Beer Shack celebrating their freedom.

Don't Settle for a Lifetime of What You DON'T Want

The saddest part is that by refusing to end it they never moved on to something better.

Don't let this happen to you! Follow our simple rules for ending a bad relationship and save yourself from a whole lot of heartache.

• Rule #1: No Alcohol

  That's right, don't drink. You must never drink before a break up. Alcohol can make you weak and lessen your resolve to get him gone. We have known at least two girls who fortified themselves with spirits and wound up announcing their engagement within days of the attempted break up. Don�t be this girl. Drink straight sodas until he�s gone and you�re safely grieving, celebrating, and generally getting over him in The Twilight Zone with your best girl friends. Then pop the bubbly. Well Done! Treat yourself to our Champagne Cocktail

• Rule #2: Be Respectful

  Well, be as respectful as the situation calls for. For instance if you simply don�t mesh with the guy and he did nothing wrong, break up with him in person. Don't get in the habit of dumping a nice guy (just the wrong guy) on the phone or by text message. Rules of the playground apply. Be nice to him for heaven�s sakes. It�s a good deposit to make in the Karmic Dating Bank.
  
  However, if you are breaking up with him because he cheated on you with a waitress from Hooters you are under no obligation to be pleasant. In fact, a bonfire of his collectible baseball cards might just be in order.
  
  Only you know the real reasons you're ending a bad relationship. Be honest with yourself and act accordingly.
  
  If you opt for the bonfire, we're searching our dessert database for a nice flaming dish: perhaps Cherries Jubilee? We'll get back to you on this!

• Rule #3: Get Your Stuff First

  Why take chances or set the stage for drama? Remember what you want is out.
  
  If you have any personal items that mean anything to you at your soon-to-be-ex's house, retrieve them before breaking up with him. This is vital if you ever want to see them again. Women are not the only vindictive ones when broken up with. One gal who didn�t follow this bit of advice wound up with one less Prada suit and handbag for her efforts. That�s a substantial monetary loss! To console herself she ate three of our Lemon Sour Cream Pound Cakes.

• Rule #4: Bring Protection

  And we don�t mean a loaded gun. If you're ending a bad relationship and are worried for your safety, don't go it alone.
  
  You are safer to avoid personal contact or have someone near by who you trust with your life. Your ideal candidate would be about two hundred and fifty pounds with a black belt in Karate. If you don�t know anyone that fits the bill, five girlfriends carrying mace and stun guns will do. In a pinch, your mother with a cattle prod will work.
  
  Once you've safely broken it off, reward yourself and your helpers with a nourishing dinner. We think you'll love our comforting (though elegant) Beef Bourguignon with Garlic Mashed Potatoes.

Just remember girls, breaking up is hard to do. But if you plan your break up ahead and do it right, you�ll eventually wind up with a man worthy of you. Ending a bad relationship doesn�t have to be that difficult.

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