Top 5 Signs Your Relationship is Over

There are some indisputable signs your relationship is over. C'mon ladies, we really do know what they are. So why is it that we so often choose not to see the writing on the wall?

Do you believe it's easier to ignore the signs your relationship is over than to face:

• Fear of entering the dating scene again? Don't fear, dive into the most popular online dating sites.
• Fear of being alone? Don't let relationship addiction hold you hostage, get informed and get help.
• Fear of never having (gulp) sex, or romance, or intimacy again? Well ladies, it's almost time to get back out there and ride that next bronco (not necessarily literally, at least not immediately).

OK Gals, It's Time to Face Your Fears

• Dating After a Breakup
• Dating After a Divorce
• Dating for Single Parents

If fear is clouding your vision, you're not alone. Fear alone is no reason to pretend you're happy when there are big neon signs your relationship is over. We know you deserve more!

Conveniently each relationship ending sign tends to accompany a new personality in your old love. Here's how to read the five personalities and the indisputable relationship-ending signs. Read on and find your man (then dump him).

The Faker

Your relationship is over when you realize the caring, loving, chatty man you fell in love with has suddenly become a deaf mute.

Example? You repeatedly say, "Darling, we need to talk about our relationship." He answers by completely ignoring you, grunting, scratching his butt or farting. This is the time to cast your reel back into the man pond and hook someone better (see our indispensable tips on this). While surfing the web for Mr. Right, try the Poison Apple! Our Green Apple Martini that is! It's the perfect libation to accompany your search.

The Cheater

Your relationship is over when you find any of the following things in your shared bed:

1. thong underwear that doesn�t belong to you
2. another woman
3. another man (?!)

Many relationships survive infidelity (or so we�re told).

However, if there are no children involved it is often easier to lose this prince and start over. If children are involved, we recommend counseling with your priest, minister, rabbi, or voodoo priestess. In any case, when faced with The Cheater, trust us, carbs will help. Our Lasagna has saved more than one of our friends from the rubber room of ending relationships.

The Cyber-Lover

No matter how you slice it, this one is bad news masquerading as 'No Big Deal'.

Your relationship is over when your other half chooses cyber sex over the real thing (with you). If he prefers a bottle of lotion, his right hand, and his computer to real live relations with the woman he professes to love, it may be time to let him go. Obviously this man has forgotten that real intimacy involves actual contact with his partner. While you�re looking for another honey to share the sweet stuff with, try our Fresh Peach Pie It�s juicy and sweet and while not as good as a man, it�s a worthy substitute for the short term.

The Embezzler

Your relationship is over when your significant other starts siphoning funds from your joint account. You must always be aware of where the money is going and if it starts disappearing you can safely assume that Mr. Man is planning on dumping you. Beat him to the punch! And speaking of punch, our Artillery Punch is the perfect Alcohol Punch Recipe to fortify you for that hasty retreat.

The Fist

Your relationship is over when the love of your life abuses you in anyway. Physical and verbal abuses are sure signs that your relationship is over and it�s time to walk away.

Many folks claim that with counseling an abuser can learn to overcome their anger. We say, let them overcome it but as far away from you as possible! We recommend deep dish Chicago style pizza when dealing with The Fist. It has enough carbs, cheese, fat, and protein to give you the needed strength to get out. We're not enclosing the recipe this time... since you really need to get up and leave now.

The Trap Him gals hope you find this list helpful. Signs your relationship is over are usually quite clear if you�re paying attention. After all, why do all that hard work to trap him, feed him, and keep him if you really oughtta throw him back in the pond and find yourself a better fish?

Remember, it's not Happily Ever After if it's not happy.

Need More? No Problem!

• Love and Relationship Advice Column: The Trap Him, Feed Him, Keep Him love and relationship advice column is where it all started. Check it out!
• Ending a Bad Relationship: Ending a bad relationship is the only way to open yourself up to a good relationship. Let the Trap Him Gals help.
• Rebound Relationship Advice: Our best rebound relationship advice might just save you the repeat heartache you want to avoid.
• Break Up Advice: Our best break up advice is to read this article.
• Break Up Advice: Set me free why dontcha Babe, get outta my life, why dontcha Baby... Take our relationship breakup advice and set yourself free.

If you still need break up advice, let us know! Ask a relationship question right here.

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